Thesis: Dubstep is becoming more widely known and accepted.
Lead 1: Compare and contrast, A year ago as i sat with my 8th grade best friend Giovanni he wasn’t your average student, long hair always wear a jacket and listening to music that was just beats. We start talking one day and he talks about the music and says its called Dubstep, so i go home and look it up on Youtube and find alot that I like but play it at school and get weird looks I ignore because I know I like it and now when i go around playing Dubstep people are like is that Dubstep? Do you have ________ by ________? I’m like you listen to Dubstep? I get asked the same question to sometimes because I don’t look like the type to listen to it
Lead 2: Descriptive, Skrillex is a widely known Dubstep artist and even preformed at This years A.C.L. Dubstep is becoming more widely known and accepted and that angers some of the original Dubstep artist and listeners because it used to be there own way of getting away from mainstream music and just being different.
Lead 3: Twist, Dubstep is just random beats yet artist and DJ’s make lots of money off of these “random beats” so therefore its a genre thats becoming more widely known and accepted. -Hardstyleforlife21
I definitely like Lead 2 (descriptive) the best- it provides a widely known band to catch our attention and is well written and concise.
ReplyDelete-Culinary Queen
I think that lead 2 is your best bet at hooking in the readers, it is informative, short, and very concise, number one was confusing, and it kept on switching from past tense to present tense, with a few grammatical errors 0-0'. Number three was too short and it did not go in depth enough to get me interested.
ReplyDelete-Chocolate Rabbit
While lead two was a pretty good lead, I kind of like where you were going with your first lead. There are a few run-on sentences in your first lead, but I like the idea of trying to describe how you first stumbled upon Dubstep.
ReplyDelete-Lily
I liked the descriptive lead the best, just be sure to state your point of view on the issue. In the other leads I found a few run on sentences, so be careful of that too!-Haley
ReplyDeleteI think the second lead was the best lead to hook the reader because many dubstep fans can probrobly relate to that and want to keep reading the article. However, i dont think its very descriptive and adding more of a descriptive scene in the beging could really improve the impact of the lead on the reader.
ReplyDelete-Sophie
I think the second lead was the best. But maybe make the thesis a bit clearer.
ReplyDelete